just feelin'...where to? what now?

i don't know if it's the music i'm listening to now or if it's the gray clouds hovering the "Venice of the North", i.e. Brugge....

I just feel gray. I know i'm just tired, walking with the weight with no sleep at all, had to take my iron pills coz i was feeling dizzy already.

Last night was an interesting chain of events that I've never ever experienced.

Killing time in pubs in Calais, France..hassled by 2 guys in a car then by drunk men in a random pub that seemed to be the only one left open till 2 am. A guy with a dog (named Kali) and a mohawk head was the nicest and most decent guy there.. all the rest were sleezy drunk men who stuck their faces to ours trying to spark a conversation...

Last night was my first time to sleep literally on the street, finding shelter under the cove of a clothes shop. We quickly opened our eyes upon hearing approaching footsteps, in case some weirdo approached us.
I was glad though I experienced that with 2 other girls from Finland (17-year olds). They were very  much easy targets with their looks. The French guys seemed to loom over them. I eventually got tired of the drunk guys and just said "No English". Sara took out a white blanket and covered the 3 of us, enough to give at least a shed of warmth. Anina had a black scarf, so that protected her a bit. Sara wasn't sounding good with her cough though, and she hurt her knee a few days ago. I felt like a Mom, giving her some advice..and getting protective when some vans/cars stopped, giving us dodgy looks, always ushering them to go to the side as I assessed the onlookers. They must have arrived in Paris as I write this.

Whole body is aching right now and my eyes are just almost about to shut as I type this. I missed my train stop at Brugge and ended somewhere in the outskirts..where wind turbines spinned silently. I snoozed all the way and by the time I opened my eyes, the Brugge sign was just a hazy sight away...fading in the distance. Good though that they didn't charge me to catch the next train back.

I'm but only human ... to feel and get tired. And even though I've had enough rest during the past few days...I think the road is taking its toll on me right now. I just feel like going MIA for a while...incommunicado with everyone..... and just figure things out for a while..

Just to digress for a while..... this travel has made me realize...there are still good people out there.... and I thank God for those souls.....

....... I need some quality shut eye for now.... this HI doesn't allow cooking..<sigh> and I was so much looking forward to cooking my 1-minute noodles :(

...... and the song says "You should listen to you heart it'll tell you what you need"........

 Je suis perdu