of Jumping and Realizations

allow me to digress for a while. 

What is wrong with Jumping? What is wrong with moving? What is wrong in living a life of a Nomad?

What is wrong if I've been traveling this world alone?

I slowly realized a few things while I was on the road. 

Why the urge to move is so strong, that staying longer has never been an option. 

Fear. Fear of Attachment. Fear of Hurt. Fear of Expectations. But deep inside yearning that there's that special someone who would ask me to stay. Ironic? Yeah, tell me about it. It's hard when you're a walking hopeless romantic Nomad with shell casings all over.

through the 8 months, staying longer than 2 weeks seemed to be a far-fetched idea. The moment I felt I was getting attached to a place or the people around me, alarm bells just went off and Moving on becomes the next best step to escapism. 

Yes. I admit it. I'm an escapist. Because it is in the confines of limitless freedom when traveling, where time doesn't mean a thing, and survival reigns over your veins that matters....where to sleep, what to eat...where to next. There was no time to contemplate on emotions...and even if I felt lonely, it was fleeting because I had to go through the cycle of Hi's and goodbyes. 

Yes Hi's and goodbyes. Sad, but true. I did gain new friends...that's was good. I realized....I was sheltering myself..... because "hurt" was the one thing I didn't want to have with me during the trip. Where expectations heightened, therefore disappointment leaves me distraught. And oh yes, for so many times did that happen to me. Until I learned to let go.

Through the months, I meet some interesting people.... some I thought would have the consistency and continuity, but of course....yet again...disappointment kills the joy. 

There is liberation for me when I'm on the Road. The freedom of being an unknown, going towards the unknown..... and maybe nowhere would be a somewhere in the long run... a place that would make me stop..........